


Faded

by ne0dym



Category: Kamen Rider Ex-Aid
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Songfic, a little angsty, tugs at the heartstrings just a bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-09 04:04:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11096520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ne0dym/pseuds/ne0dym
Summary: Emu embarks on a personal mission to bring back his long-forgotten childhood imaginary friend.Inspired by the song 'Faded' by Alan Walker.





	Faded

 

When Emu got home from school that day, he found himself going on an unexpected nostalgia trip.

Maybe it had been that conversation he'd had earlier with his classmates. Their discussions were always so lively, it wasn't uncommon for them to go off on weird tangents. So he didn't think much of it when they started reminiscing on their childhoods, and in particular, their imaginary friends.

He didn't realise it at the time, but that hit a little too close to home.

Emu knew he used to have an imaginary friend when he was younger. His parents would often bring it up during family gatherings, much to his annoyance. And yet, neither his parents nor he himself could remember anything about this fragment of Little Emu's imagination. The boy grew up, as most people do; it was only natural that he'd leave his friend behind.

So why was he suddenly hit by a wave of guilt? He was an adult now, there was no point in dwelling on things that were long since left in the past. Still, Emu couldn't help but wonder. What was his imaginary friend like? He no longer knew their appearance, or their voice, not even their name. Emu felt embarrassed to admit he wished he could have at least said goodbye. In real life, it's always sad when two friends who used to be so close drift apart, never to hear from each other again. It seemed almost cruel, in a way, to have abandoned such an important part of his childhood without any semblance of closure.

Emu pulled out a dusty box filled to the brim with photographs, drawings, toys and games from his childhood. He rummaged through those memories, hoping that something, anything would set off a chain reaction and help him remember. He wanted to remember.

...If he tried hard enough, could he bring his friend back?

 

_Where are you now?_

_Was it all in my fantasy?_

_Were you only imaginary?_

 

He didn't know how long he'd been drowning in the endless ocean of oblivion. When was the last time he'd seen Emu? Oh, judging by how much he himself had grown, probably over a decade ago. Being forgotten was certainly worse than being dead. Emu could've at least willed some bittersweet conclusion to their friendship... but there was no such closure.

He and Emu were inseparable. Like shadow and light, there couldn't be one without the other. But as the months passed, sometimes Emu would forget to invite him to go out, or watch Sunday morning television, or even play videogames. That was their favourite pastime, wasn't it? And they were both so good at them, too. But one day inevitably came when Emu just couldn't see or hear or touch his friend any more. That's when he suddenly felt suffocated, as if he was unwelcome in his own home. The walls crumbled down and the house morphed into a vast, deep sea, and he drowned in it.

Eternally submerged in those poisonous waters, he could feel himself age, no doubt at the same rate as Emu. He wished he could have stayed by Emu's side, even if invisible to the boy's eyes, if it meant he could at least watch him grow up.

But the real world was not kind to an imaginary friend.

These filthy waters fill my lungs and it pains me to breathe, yet my heart still beats. Am I forever trapped under this cursed ocean, with no sense of direction or time? Am I destined to drown endlessly, stuck between life and death, until I sink to the bottom where the elder gods sleep and the lost kingdom lies?

 

_Where are you now?_

_Atlantis, under the sea_

_I'm faded_

_So lost, I'm faded_

 

Well, come to think about, I was really kind of a loner as a kid, wasn't I? Even though I loved anime and superheroes and videogames... I could never quite fit in. Or maybe... it was because I loved those things so much, and wouldn't shut up about my favourite characters and games, wouldn't stop bragging about my achievements, or showing off my newest acquisitions?

I guess I just wanted someone to play with.

I remember writing a fan letter to this young programmer... I had so many ideas for new releases, I had to share them with someone! And he was kind enough to send back a copy of a game he was working on. Yes, this is it - it all began with this game! It was still in development at the time, but fun nonetheless... I felt so special! But of course no one would share in my excitement... until you showed up. Just like that! I must've been so happy to finally have a friend who could understand my passions, I didn't even think to question where you came from. But did I really need to?

Unfortunately, I soon realised not everyone could see you. So, with all of the artistic prowess of a little kid, I drew this portrait of you! A boy just about my age, and a little bit taller than me, and also a lot more awesome-looking! With that black coat with the propped-up collar and the long pink sleeves, and the colourful cables dangling from the coat, and the purple pixel-pattern pants, you always looked so cool, like you'd just come out of a very stylish game!

Life was so much easier with you around. Classes were more enjoyable - when the teacher would ask me a question, sometimes you'd whisper to me the answer! -, and doing chores didn't feel like such a burden - talking with you while doing them always made time go by faster. You'd keep me company during lunch, and play with me during school break, and when the bullies would torment me, it was you who comforted me afterwards. Your big cheerful smile never failed to brighten my days. I'd wipe away the tears, get back on my feet, and move on to the next play.

Oh, my dear friend... how could I abandon you? Was it the pressure to 'grow up', to get good grades, to be 'someone' in life? If only I'd known your existence was so fragile...

Even if you were merely a product of my fantasy, you were definitely real. Even if the other people couldn't see you, you were real. The fun time we spent together was real. And I now believe that the pain you must have felt when I left you was real, too. You may have been my imaginary friend, but you were as tangible as the photographs I hold in my hands. That's right, you even had a name fitting for such a contradictory nature. I had just learned that word by the time you first appeared and thought it sounded so cool. A word meaning something that seems impossible and absurd, due to its opposing qualities. A paradox.

Well, I was just a kid and had a little trouble saying that out loud, so I shortened it a bit... and it became your name.

 

_Under the bright but faded lights_

_You set my heart on fire_

 

He didn't fight the waters anymore. He didn't try to keep track of time or direction. He didn't even bother to move or to think at all. His own sense of self had become meaningless. From time to time, he would remind himself of who he was and why he was there, and suddenly he'd start hurting. He was numb to the pain in his lungs and eyes and throat. This pain was different. He felt it in his heart.

The ocean would then scold him and pull him further into its depths, and he wouldn't resist it.

The last time the heartache struck him, it wasn't of his own making. Though unexpected, he didn't mind it; he'd got used to this kind of pain, too. But it didn't go away - instead, it gradually spread to all of his body, and for the first time in an eternity, he was once again fully aware of his surroundings and of himself.

He didn't know what was happening until he heard the ocean rumble, louder and angrier than ever before. It was then that he finally understood he was being pulled again, but not down deeper. Pulled up towards the surface.

The waters protested, but they couldn't hold him down anymore, they had no power over him anymore. After so many years of drowning in the ocean of oblivion, his fate was changed. He was being released. By some strange, overwhelming force, he had been awakened, and he was going home.

Emu...

 

_Eternal silence of the sea_

_I'm breathing, alive_

 

Emu had been so immersed in his little research, he didn't even notice the hours pass by. Now that he had all the puzzle pieces, it was time to fit them together. He squeezed his eyes shut and concentrated on forming the mental picture of his friend. He hoped that it would drag him out of the void, and when he was satisfied, as if to mock the very limbo itself, he proudly announced:

'I remember now!'

When Emu opened his eyes, he finally saw him. His friend, whom he had abandoned so many years ago without even saying goodbye. His friend, leaning motionless against the wall across the room, his head held low, like a neglected plushie waiting for its owner to pick it back up.

'I remember now', Emu repeated. 'It was you. Though you weren't so tall back then! God, how many years has it been...? We used to play video games together! We'd wake up early in the morning and play all day, without a care in the world. We'd read comics, we'd watch cartoons together, too. We'd roleplay our favourite characters. You always loved being the villain!' he continued, slowly walking towards his old friend.

'You were always there for me, always by my side. I'm sorry I forgot about you... I'm sorry I left you behind. You were my best friend... in fact, there were times I'd think you were my only friend.' Once he was close enough, Emu tentatively took the other man's hands, as if to make sure that he was indeed there and wasn't just a hallucination.

'I missed you... Parad.' Emu said, and he couldn't help but smile when his friend finally raised his head and looked him in the eyes. But Parad had such a sad expression on his face; having been discarded and forgotten for so long had left him empty, longing for affection. Affection he was sure he could never have again. Yet there he was, standing inside that familiar room, staring into those familiar eyes, holding those familiar hands.

'I wanted to see you again. Because only now do I understand, but...' Emu closed the distance, letting go of Parad's hands and wrapping his arms around his back. 'My dearest Parad... I love you.'

Parad didn't say a word. He didn't need to, as in the next moment he had Emu's face cradled in both of his hands, his gaze never faltering. He simply nodded slightly and leaned in closer, their lips meeting in a tender and lingering kiss.

Parad claimed Emu all for himself, his lips caressing Emu's with a nearly unbearable gentleness, and Emu in turn melted into Parad's touch, tangling his hands in his soft hair and giving it a slight tug of encouragement. The gesture sent chills down Parad's spine, and he moved his hands down to Emu's waist, pulling him even closer and deepening the kiss, and Emu couldn't resist letting out the tiniest of groans as Parad's tongue ever so lightly brushed across his lips.

The thought of sharing such an intimate moment with an old friend had never crossed Emu's mind, but he wasn't complaining; in fact, he couldn't get enough of it. And from the way Parad held him so tightly, making sure that they wouldn't leave each other's side again, he could tell he was enjoying it, too.

When they drew back, still gazing into each other's eyes, it almost seemed like the taller man would break out in tears. For a while, only the sound of their hearts beating in unison filled their ears. Parad opened his mouth as if to say something but his voice wouldn't come out, and he grew increasingly disconcerted at the silence. Emu noticed his struggle and, in an attempt to comfort him, pulled him into a warm embrace.

Parad buried his face in Emu's shoulder and held desperately onto him, his hands grasping at his shirt, refusing to let go. 'Emu...!' he finally sobbed out. Emu slowly caressed Parad's hair, and upon hearing his friend's voice for the first time in so long, he felt tears well up in his eyes, too.

They stayed like that, clinging to each other, for what seemed like hours, and neither wanted to pull away. In that moment of wordless acceptance, they had created an unbreakable bond. Emu would never forget him, and Parad would never fade away. Once again, their hearts were one.

'Welcome home, Parad.'

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to cestlavieminako for supporting this idea ever since I first came up with it.  
> This was my first time writing fanfiction. It's a little messy, but I hope it was enjoyable! Thank you for reading.


End file.
